Well, I just don't what...

...is wrong with me today??? I feel so down but I have so much to look forward to...such as the wedding, life, the meetup adventure group we joined, tt's going to school, my 30th birthday coming up, learning more, new restaurants I haven't tried out yet and much more. Maybe a list of what is bothering me in detail could help me sort through my emotional state?


Stress #1- i have been calling the photography consultant since last week with no response back and she was harassing us to sign our contract immediately which did not bother me cause i needed someone on top of things like that. But now i want to set a wheel in motion but can't check this major thing of my long list of wedding duties.


Stress free bonus- Wedding venue is paid for in full!

Stress #2 - My weight, I'm 170lbs @ 5 ft even. And even thought I look like I wear it well I don't like those numbers. I need to be 40 lbs lighter, I major to get on 10lbs but I quickly gain it back. I don't like that my body is comfortable @ 170lbs. I am very active not in a sport but i enjoy exercising and doing active activities on the weekends such as hiking, walking , laser tagging, hitting the batting cage and my wii fit. I know if i did something routine like throughout the week like was on a team i would be where i want to be. But I work such as abnormal sked and the weeks we have tt I cant workout like I would like too cause she just gets in the way. I tried working out and including her but I got kicked in the eye and that was not fun.

Stress free bonus - TT will be starting school we would be getting her every other weekend so maybe I could be on a set workout routine every week not hold back on some weeks.

Stress #3 - TT being home with her mom full time is scary. I hope she doesn't develop bad behavior habits. For daddy and I established a healthy balance in her life and im concern that we will not have as much as a influence on her with just weekend.

Stress free bonus - TT is very strong and god is on her side! No one can take away the influence of her daddy, and he is the greatest dad!

Stress #4 - #8 - The wedding coming together. Hearing ppl complain about the day and time makes feel like ppl will not show up. Should I get a wedding day -of -coordinator? Centerpieces and wedding decor...who, how and what the hell do I want to do exactly... too many choices! My two maid of honors are not as enthusiastic as I thought they would be. And my mother has just been flat out annoying...this weekend at a cookout, someone asked if she like my fiance in front of him and she commented "I tell you later" then "No, he's ok, he's fine"and although it was to be taking as a joke I didn't like it and I know it made him feel uncomfortable cause he doesn't know how she feels about him and would very much like her acceptance.

Stress free bonuses - It's too late to even think about changing our wedding date, plus it so usual that I like it more and more and It's my grandma's birthday so her memory goes on and now she will be apart of my wedding day.

God always make a way, so the wedding will come together.

I will have to delegate the centerpiece to Aunt Tammy and just trust her taste

The wedding will still be going on with or with out my maids of honor

Leo. has all my love and I really don't care what my mother thinks.


Thanks for reading. Later